MEAT

 

I was a pescatarian for twelve years, from the age of 11-23, until a combination of hormones, stress and desperation saw me eating a Morrison’s Roast Chicken on the bus out of the bag like it was crisps.

After this, it was useless trying to hide to fact that I loved and missed meat, and having spent my growing-up years without it, I knew nothing of how to cook or eat it. I spent the next three years eating random meat, in huge amounts. I learnt the best way to roast lamb, beef and chicken (for ages, and then leave it). I learnt that microwaving bacon is delicious, but must be done in secret as is considered very common. I also learnt that goat is bloody cheap, and freezable, but that hacking a bit of frozen goat off with a hammer and then microwave it for a bit gets you funny looks off your housemates.

My friends found my new meat obsession hilarious, and people I went to uni or college with, who only new me as a sort-of-veggie (you try being from Scarborough and not eating seafood) found me sucking bone marrow out from a roast lamb leg, or stripping an entire chicken very strange. I kept my new status as meat-eater secret from my family for a whole year because I was convinced they would be ashamed of me (plus my dad had spent 12 years cooking alternative meals for me and freezing lentil bolagnaise in large quantities to supplement my otherwise entirely pasta and mayonnaise based uni diet, I felt bad).

Now, I’ve calmed down a fair bit. I still bloody love meat, and will let off involuntary growls at anyone who tries to take my bones off me, but I’m not as silly with it as I once was. Now I appreciate well cooked things a hell of a lot more. I’ve discovered Fazenda, where you pay £28 for all you can eat delicious bloody steak.

Then last week I went to True Red barbecue. I’ve wanted to try pulled pork having seen it on Man vs Food, the best TV programme in the world. I want to go on a date with Adam, we could stuff ourselves silly and then just lie on a lovely sofa and hold hands. It would be ace.

When everyone in Leeds started going on about how good True Red was, I got stupidly excited. Looking at their online menu, even more so. Honestly, the hype is worth it. Yes, we had an hour wait for a table at 3 o’clock on a Saturday, but the Adelphi is round the corner and they serve cherry coke, so why are you complaining? For £20 I got two premium lager beers, a starter of ribs, and THIS…

 

That’s pulled pork, slaw, cornbread (which I’d never had before either and is basically cake), and beans. A-maze-balls. I was completely stuffed by the end of it all, it was tasty and well cooked and the rest of the menu looks just as tempting. I quite want to live there.

Yes, the service was a little all over the place (I saw a waiter texting…it took us nearly 15 minutes to get the bill…) but the greeter was friendly and professional and the food is so incredible it’s worth it. I’m salivating writing this.

Meat is ace.

 

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